I felt safe. I'm not alone. I feel better equipped to assist others. There is hope.

Followup and future plans for the spiritual abuse workshop

Earlier this summer I led two online five-week workshops about spiritual abuse in the Catholic Church.

Two-dozen people from across the country (and beyond) attended the workshop including lay ministers, college students, parents, grandparents, religious sisters, clergy, spiritual directors, artists, and a farmer.

It was my first time running this workshop. Leading the classes were the highlight of my week. Not only was everyone was ready to learn, but more importantly there was a culture of respect that allowed for vulnerable sharing and discussions. I also got some helpful feedback from the participants for how to improve the workshop in the future.

I had three personal goals for the workshop, that the participants would 1) better understand their own experiences of spiritual abuse, 2) feel less isolated in their experiences of spiritual abuse, and 3) be more equipped to make their own communities safer. And, based on the feedback I received, the workshop was a huge success!

Several people gave me permission to share some of their feedback.

I asked if the workshop met the participant’s expectation:

• The content exceeded expectations. It’s difficult in such a short span of time to cover it in its fullness, but the additional readings, videos, and podcasts were extremely helpful/informative.

• It helped me feel less lonely…and showed me that there are others like me out there who have suffered spiritual abuse and want to have the tools to recognize and resist abusive agendas.

• No one was ever pressured or coerced to unwillingly share what they did or did not want to. There is immense freedom in this! I have the sense that everyone felt this was a very safe space in which to express their experiences, thoughts, hopes, dreams for their own faith journey and where they fit in within the body of Christ, within the Church.

I asked what the most impactful aspect of the workshop was:

• Learning more in-depth terminology to put around the circumstances of my abuse and also having a place where I could try to speak objectively about my experience. I have only done that one other time, and I felt safe.

• Finally realizing that this is happening inside the church. And that this not mean we have to move away from our faith. And how to recognize it. And how to actively act to try to change the structures that might be contributing for the reproduction of this harm.

• How though we are from different parts of the USA and our experiences vary in depth and degree, we collectively understand that we are all members of the body of Christ, members of the Church and how we all desire to find our role, regain our footing, strengthen our faith and we love the Church, but we all desire better and healthier pastoral care from those in leadership in the Church. We are part of the solution; we are not defeated because of any spiritual abuse we have experienced. I had a very clear sense that everyone was imbued with more hope for themselves, their faith journey and their role within the Church.

I asked how the participants plan on applying what they learned from the workshop to their life moving forward:

• To continue growing, learning and listening to other's experiences in order to deepen my own faith, but also to be able to point out to someone if they have been or are being spiritually abused, I have a body of terminology and resources now that I feel better equipped to assist others.

• For myself, I plan to utilize this information and beginning discussions as I seek additional help for my own Moral Injury. With regard to my parishioners and others I intend to be more intentional about listening for the signs of Spiritual Abuse and making sure I give others a space in which they know they can discuss and share about it.

• This course has helped me realize how much I have been harmed and how I have harmed others unintentionally. The pain is real and it has helped enormously to have a group of people who feel the same way. I don't feel alone. It has also helped me realize this a new awareness of spiritual trauma and abuse and I have to be patient for changes in the church at large.

Looking to the future, I have several opportunities for you to participate in this workshop and learn more about how to recognize and prevent spiritual abuse in the Church.

1. I will be offering more online workshops this fall. These will be open to anyone but will have limited seating because I want to make sure the groups are small enough to encourage meaningful discussion. Dates and times are TBD. I just started a new job as a professional counselor and want to get settled there before I schedule too much. I hope to offer at least a couple day/time options. I will publish those dates and times later this summer.
   

2. I can lead an online workshop for a private group—like your Bible study group, parish staff, seminary cohort, men’s group, catechist formation class, priest small group, religious community, etc.—and tailor the schedule to your needs.
   

3. I can travel and give an individual talks about spiritual abuse or lead a day-long workshop for your parish, diocese, priest convocation, diaconate formation, etc.

Email me at paul@faheycounseling.com if you want more information about any of these events.