When NFP isn’t Good Enough - OG Episode
Podcast: Season 4, Episode 6
We have an OG Episode for you this week.
This episode is from our very first season. It’s about NFP and conscience and is titled, “When NFP isn’t good enough.”
I'm releasing it again now because this past week was NFP Awareness Week in the US Church. Every year, the US Conference of Catholic Bishops has a week dedicated to raising awareness about NFP. This is our contribution to that discussion.
The Church teaches a few things about family planning.
First, the Church teaches that “any action which either before, at the moment of, or after sexual intercourse, is specifically intended to prevent procreation—whether as an end or as a means” is “intrinsically wrong” (Humanae Vitae 14).
The Church also teaches that couples are called to “responsible parenthood,” that is, couples ought to be open to life with prudence, discerning their health and family situation (Humanae Vitae 10).
The Church also recognizes that when marital intimacy is cut off due to the need to avoid pregnancy, other aspects of a marriage can be put at risk (cf. Gaudium et Spes 51).
The Church allows Natural Family Planning (NFP), as a pastoral solution to help couples navigate and follow these teachings.
With NFP, couples track fertility signs to know when they are fertile and when they aren’t, then change their behavior accordingly depending on if they are trying to get pregnant or avoiding pregnancy.
For many people, NFP works really well. They're able to be responsible parents. And, even when they are avoiding pregnancy, only need to abstain maybe a week to ten days every month.
But for many other people—whether it's because of health issues, irregular cycles, mental illness, past trauma, uncooperative spouses, domestic abuse, financial difficulties, social problems, or a whole number of things—an unexpected pregnancy could be dangerous and NFP can be extremely unreliable.
For these couples, following the Church’s teaching on contraception can be a tremendous cross.
It's important that when we talk about NFP that we’re meeting people where they are at and not just trying to sell people. It's important that we understand this teaching, and it's good to explain this teaching to others, but we need to recognize that, for many people, apologetics and Catechism quotes are insufficient.
Having the right answers isn’t good enough. In part because many couples struggling with NFP may already know the answer. We need to avoid conflating knowledge of the teaching with a person’s ability to follow that teaching.
The catechism teaches that the kinds of circumstances I mentioned earlier can severely limit a person's freedom. Having knowledge of a truth does not mean someone has the capacity to live it out.
It's crucial that we hold space for grace to work in people’s lives, that we allow grace to work, in God's time, to bring healing and freedom to people so that they can grow in their capacity to follow the moral law.
It's important that we don't sell NFP as sunshine and roses and that we don't sell having children as nothing but grace, because sometimes it’s also a cross. If we only present it as grace then we implicitly condemn and exclude people who experience something different.
It’s with that in mind that I wanted to re-share this episode. In it, we try to hold this space for people who struggle with NFP. I also present the Church’s teaching more holistically, to show that the Church does not leave couples in impossible situations with no way forward.
Jesus told us to pick up our crosses and follow him. But he also said that his yoke is easy and his burden light because he, as Pope Francis has taught, “took our sufferings upon Himself and burdened Himself with our sorrows to bring us, through the Cross, to the joy of Resurrection” (Pope Francis’ “Prayer for Liberation from the Epidemic to Our Lady of Divine Love,” March 11, 2020).
I hope you enjoy the episode.
This episode is now available on Youtube and on your favorite podcast app.
This week we have an OG Episode from our first season. We’re releasing it again because last week was NFP Awareness Week in the US Church. We talk about NFP in light of the Church’s teaching about the individual consciences and the law of gradualism. Paul also shares some of his personal experience with NFP and being a part of the NFP subculture.
A content warning, this episode will include discussion about sexuality.
“We have long thought that simply by stressing doctrinal, bioethical and moral issues, without encouraging openness to grace, we were providing sufficient support to families, strengthening the marriage bond and giving meaning to marital life. We find it difficult to present marriage more as a dynamic path to personal development and fulfillment than as a lifelong burden. We also find it hard to make room for the consciences of the faithful, who very often respond as best they can to the Gospel amid their limitations, and are capable of carrying out their own discernment in complex situations. We have been called to form consciences, not to replace them” (Pope Francis, Amoris Laetitia).
LINKS
"The Sweetness of the Yoke of Christ: Hope for those struggling to live out the teaching of Humanae Vitae"
https://www.hprweb.com/2020/12/the-sweetness-of-the-yoke-of-christ/
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